When I was pregnant with my first child, one of my sisters gave me a picture frame for my baby shower, with the following words etched on the frame:
"Before you were conceived, I wanted you.
Before you were born, I loved you.
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you.
This is the miracle of life."
- The Miracle of Life, Maureen Hawkins
The baby...THIS IS the miracle of life.
The moment my baby was born, I said to our doula, "I never knew this kind of love existed." It is a kind of love that only a parent has for their children.
I was never much of a baby person, before babies, that is. Then, when I was pregnant with my first baby, I found everything about the mystery of babies fascinating and utterly awe-inspiring beyond anything else....from each stage of the pregnancy to the time of birth to soaking up every second of the newborn days with my children.
I have two beautiful, healthy, outgoing, happy children and an amazing husband. I am so, so happy in my life right now — it’s the kind of happiness when you look around and realize, this is it. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. And you start to wonder how long it will all last. Because the honest truth is I'm afraid of what comes next. I'm afraid of a life without the delicious weightlessness of a newborn in my arms. I'm afraid of a life without the sweet milk breath of an infant. I'm afraid of a life without the sweet innocence that I see reflected in my daughter's big brown eyes. I'm afraid of the unmerciful speed at which time tugs on my children to urge them to grow and change more quickly than I can blink.
I'm afraid, simply, to move on from the days of babyhood. I'm afraid, because before me is the rapid transforming days of watching my children grow up at lightening speed right before my eyes, seeing dimpled toddler limbs change into thinned out walking legs, garbled words mispronounced, sentences spoken grammatically incorrect...all replaced by startlingly clear, articulate words and formulated thoughts. I see with blinding brightness, the happiness, this time of babies nesting near, days spent around nap times and stories and coloring and play time, safe in our cocoon at home.
I see that this is the best time of our lives.
And, I fully believe that with all my heart.
But, what I'm terrified of is this...if this is the best time of my life....
....how, then, do I leave it all behind?
Out of this reflection on babies, growth, and change comes a creation made from a slightly different "fabric of life." This one is made of threads of life that pull at your heart and soul and make them ache and jolt because it is inspired by the one true miracle of life...the baby. And from the baby is born the parent....a privilege and a responsibility so great that one must endure heartache like no other kind of heartache and experience love that exists like no other kind of love.
With all that said....I present to you....Baby Erminka.
